Dishonest Trailer Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "From the makers of 'Where did all the good platformers go?' comes Vertical Drop Heroes HD, the rogue-lite action game where heroes fall down... and often never get back up. Get ready for random chaos, weirdly dumb AI allies, and all the spikes, lava, and weird enemies you can handleâall packed into one drop of a game that will make you question why you decided to keep playing after your fifth death." Macho Man Randy Savage: "OH YEAH, BROTHER! When I say ârandom chaos,â I mean it, DIG IT! This gameâs got more surprises than a bag of tricks in a wrestling match, and you know what? Sometimes it works out, but most of the time, itâs like getting slammed into a steel chair by fate, man!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Exactly, Randy. Youâll be exploring procedurally generated levels, meaning each run is a complete mysteryâand by mystery, I mean âWill I get the best power-up or just some healing potion when Iâm about to fight the final boss?â" Hulk Hogan: "WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER, when you get that âRegenerate Healthâ power-up and your screenâs still packed with enemies and spikes?! You ain't regenerating nothing but frustration, brother!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Yeah, the game is so random, itâll make you wish for a âsave gameâ option that actually works. Too bad, no Steam Cloud, no easy way to save your progress, which means... enjoy replaying the same stages over and over againâespecially if you're unlucky enough to get killed by a slime before your game even starts." Macho Man Randy Savage: "OH YEAH, BROTHER! No Steam Cloud?! What are youâA FOOL?! This game wants you to earn your victories by repeatedly falling into pits, battling unpredictable bosses, and doing it all again! You gotta be tough to survive in this world, DIG IT!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Sure, Randy, but sometimes you just want to save and go eat without having to restart your whole run. But no, you canâtâbecause thereâs no Steam Cloud. What is this, 1995?" Hulk Hogan: "And itâs not just about saving your progress, brother! Itâs about staying alive when your allies are more likely to jump into spikes than actually help you out!" Macho Man Randy Savage: "Yeah, dude! Those pixelated fools you bring along for the ride? Theyâre about as much help as a rusty chair leg! But hey, every once in a while, you get a real gem. Like a madman who can actually jump over spikes without running into them! WHOOO, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Right, there are some rare heroes who might actually save your behind once in a while. But mostly, youâll be dragging them through dangerous corridors, hoping they donât decide to leap headfirst into yet another trap." Hulk Hogan: "Brother, if you donât think youâre gonna lose a hero or two... then you ain't ready for this, man! It's just like when I faced off against the Iron Sheikâyou think youâve got it figured out, but NOPE! Life hits you harder than a pile-driver!" Macho Man Randy Savage: "And thatâs what makes this game SO delicious, YEAH! Every moment is unpredictable, chaotic, and just when you think youâve got it under control... WHAMMO! You drop into another pit and lose your progress AGAIN, brother!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "At least thereâs the satisfaction of falling in style, right? With a huge variety of characters and abilities, youâll get to swing your sword, fire spells, and drop like a rock with all the finesse of a drunken acrobat." Macho Man Randy Savage: "Ohhh YEAH, you get some wild abilities, alright! But don't get too attached to any of 'em, because one moment you're swinging a flaming sword, and the next you're face-first in a puddle of goo, wondering where your health went!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Also, shoutout to the gameâs beautiful retro art style. Itâs like someone took a trip back to the '80s, grabbed a handful of pixels, and just threw 'em at the screen to see what would stick." Hulk Hogan: "Well let me tell ya somethinâ, brother, sometimes those 80s graphics are like the Hulksterâs leg dropâiconic and powerfulâbut other times, they just make you scratch your head and wonder, 'What in the world is going on here?!'â Macho Man Randy Savage: "Yeah! And the enemies! You get some wild onesâlike flying eyeballs that shoot lasers, skeletons that come back from the dead after you've already killed âem, and... oh yeah... spiky walls of death that you definitely didnât see coming, YEAH!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Youâve got skeletons, flying eyeballs, andâletâs not forget the spikesâbasically everything that makes you question your life choices. But hey, thatâs the fun of the game, right? Itâs a âtry, try againâ kind of game." Hulk Hogan: "Exactly, brother! You keep coming back for more! Itâs like the never-ending battle of good vs. evil. Or in this case... good vs. gravity, spikes, bad RNG, and a bunch of allies that really need a map!" Macho Man Randy Savage: "Yeah! This gameâs about resilience, man. Like when you take one step forward and then fall two steps back, you gotta pick yourself up, shake it off, and dive right back into the drop! WHOOO, thatâs the real test!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "So if youâre looking for a game that combines the thrill of falling with the joy of grindingâoh, and did we mention the constant dyingâthen look no further than Vertical Drop Heroes HD!" Hulk Hogan: "Itâs not for the faint of heart, brother. But if youâre ready to take the challenge and keep coming back like a true warriorâthen get ready to drop in style!" Macho Man Randy Savage: "OH YEAH, BROTHER! You donât just play this gameâyou survive it! And if you canât survive? Well then you just try again, YEAH! You gotta be the king of the drop!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Vertical Drop Heroes HD: Itâs like a chaotic rollercoaster where you canât even strap inâand you probably wonât survive to the next loop." Macho Man Randy Savage: "BUT YOU KEEP COMINâ BACK! DIG IT?" Hulk Hogan: "Cause that's what champions do, brother! They fall, and they get right back up!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: "Vertical Drop Heroes HD: Youâve been warned... or have you? This game will make you question everything, including your life choices... but you'll keep coming back, 'cause deep down, you know you can't resist the drop." Macho Man Randy Savage: "Ohhh YEAH, this is one game you gotta embraceâlike the madness that is the Macho Manâs life!" Hulk Hogan: "And if youâre still here, youâre gonna love whatâs next, brother! Donât drop the ball now!" Macho Man Randy Savage: "OH YEAH! Time to drop like a champion!" Hulk Hogan: "WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE VERTICAL DROP HEROES RUN WILD ON YOU?!" Honest Trailer Voiceover Guy: (Exasperated sigh) "Letâs just roll the creditsâŚ" n the depths of pixel lands, we fall, Heroes cast from shadows, answering the call. Each level random, filled with despair, Where gravityâs wrath is always there. Allies? You can't always trustâ They jump into pits, leaving you to dust. Bosses are ruthless, with no mercy shown, Youâll die again, and again, alone. But with each fall, you rise once more, A hero in a drop, ready to soar. No save for your progress, no cloud to keep, Just endless retries, and enemies that leap. Yet through the chaos, the challenge and pain, Youâll drop and rise, again and again. Through traps and monsters, you'll endure, Struggling for victory, craving something more. The random powers come and go, Leaving you wondering which way to flow. The pixel art shines with retro grace, But donât let that smile fool your face. For every victory, thereâs a cost, A moment of joy thatâs quickly lost. But in this chaos, youâll find delight, Each fall a lesson, each death a fight. So drop again, hero, donât despair, Victory waits somewhere in the air.
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