This one hurts on a personal level, folks. When I played Vanquish back in the days — like 2018 maybe — I thought to myself: “what a fun, neat game, I wish they made another one”. It was a really refreshing experience, with over the top action, cool mechanics and interesting setting. But now, I am older, time passed a little and upon revisiting this game I finally understand why we never got a sequel. But first thing first. Vanquish is a third person cover shooter with strong emphasis on mobility and movement, developed by Platinum Games — the same jolly bunch that gave us Bayonetta or Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. Same with those titles, you can expect utter, unadulterated insanity and bonkers from gameplay. The game tells a story… you know what? There is no story here. Or rather — it is so poorly designed and executed in such a primitive way, that it doesn't matter at all. The premise? Once again the Ruskie were bad, they hijacked the orbital station and attacked the USA, so America sent “the Boys” to take it back. In the background there is obvious betrayal and double crossing, shown directly to our faces, so you, dear, player, are not confused too much. The plot? Move from A to B, kill enemies, do objectives, proceed to the next location. Characters in this game are no better — just a bunch of paper thin collections of thropes than real personalities. Our protagonist, Sam, tries too hard to act and sound like a badass, but he is too bland and forgettable; Robert Burns, commander of the USA forces is so over the top bitter veteran that was making me cringe every time when he speaks; Elena, our handler, is nothing more than talking head who give us objectives. Big bad dude shows only for like 10 minutes, which is more than madam president, who has maybe 2 or 3 cutscenes. Even regular enemies are also forgettable, because they all are ROBOTS. And you know, what is more absurd? Because the game really, really tries to build some kind of narration. We have dialogues on almost every step, long-ass cutscenes, but it means NOTHING. It baffles how much they show the story, and yet how little it matters. At some point of my playthrough I literally zone out, because this is nothing but noise. Experiencing the story of Vanquish is like going to the cinema to watch some summer blockbuster movie. You are there to socialize with friends and as soon as you leave the building, you completely forget what you just watched. Okay, but seriously, who gives a crap about the story? How about gameplay, eh? Well, I want to split this part into three categories: movement, gunplay and levels. Movement is the main thing in Vanquish. Everything built around it is superb. Sam has this neat armor that allows him to dash for a long distance, punch really hard and give the ability to bullet time. It is fun to use and gives you a massive power tip when you finally figure it out and start dominating on the battlefield. It is very satisfying to slide between the legs of some giant mech and attack his weak spot while flipping mid air. However, there are two downsides of suit mechanics. First — all your actions drain energy from one pool. Oh, you charge at some robot and punch him ONE time (because yes, you can perform only ONE melee attack)? Now you are in the middle of enemy forces, good luck. Or how about bullet time? It will automatically be enabled when your health is low, so sometimes you will end with no energy, because the last enemy randomly headshots you, and after killing him you are stuck for a few seconds in slow-mo, then you need to recharge the energy bar. Why I cannot turn it off with a button, devs? Second — there is no gameplay built around suit capabilities. You use bullet time to better aim at enemies or to escape, melee to fend them off, dash to move from cover to cover and that’s it! Why don't we have some level where we need dash to avoid obstacles, why we don’t have a level where we need to punch enemies because we lost our gun? All of this is just reduced to support shooting and therefore wasted potential. And shooting is bland and generic. Yeah, there is nothing standing out here — you played Gears of War? Then you already know how to shoot in Vanquish. Personally I am not a fan of cover shooters, because this gameplay is very limited with differentiation from guns only, very repetitive and predictable. You are glued to cover, waiting for enemies to pop up, and experiencing terrible bullet spread — which I really hate, because I want bullets to fly where I point. And it is designed with controllers in mind, because when you use a gamepad, you cannot be as precise as with mouse and keyboard, so to compensate developers creates this obnoxious mechanic. That's why I almost everytime pick up an Anti-armor pistol, which is the most precise weapon (aside from sniper rifle) in the game. Which is a good segway to the really bad mechanic in Vanquish — weapon upgrade. During gameplay enemies drop from time to time upgrade chips that you can use on your weapon, which grants you better damage, more ammo, bigger mags, less spread etc. But there is another option to do this — when you pick a weapon with full ammo you get a little “badge” to your weapon level. Collect enough of them and voila! You got another regular upgrade. You see where this is going? You are encouraged to NOT USE weapons you want, because as soon as you shoot from it EVEN ONE BULLET you cannot get a mini-upgrade. WHO DESIGNED THIS BULLCRAP? And guess what? You can easily bypass it by swapping weapons, picking fresh ones and then picking old ones. Why bother then, why waste players' time? To have “content for the sake of content?” Give me a break! Okay, last one — levels. The entire game takes place on this giant-ass orbital station looking like a big cylinder. So when you look above, you can see the entire structure, with all of the moving parts and other shit. It is neat and impressive, but the actual level, where all combat takes place, is very primitive. This is just a collection of corridors, open areas with covers and even more open areas with space to slide around bosses. Even more impressive set pieces, like encounters with big, walking fortresses are nothing but a disguise. The only real break from monotony is on-the-rails level, when you are fending enemies while standing on some moving platforms. Aside from that you will be doing the same for several hours more and more the same. So, how can I summarize the Vanquish in one sentence? All look, no substance. It is a perfect one-time only game, because replaying it is, maybe not boring, but significantly less interesting, even on higher difficulties. Now. It's over. Go home or something. <Oh yeah, last thing — fuck the motherfucker who designed tactical challanges in this game. It took 8, EIGHT hours to do challenge number 6. Do this only if you really want to get 100% achievements. Buh-bye!>
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