The Procession to Calvary

Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.

The Procession to Calvary is a dark comedy, funny and medieval game developed by Joe Richardson and published by Joe Richardson and SUPERHOT PRESENTS.
Released on April 09th 2020 is available on Windows, MacOS and Linux in 5 languages: English, French, German, Spanish - Spain and Portuguese - Brazil.

It has received 1,023 reviews of which 1,003 were positive and 20 were negative resulting in an impressive rating of 9.2 out of 10. 😍

The game is currently priced at 4.27€ on Steam and has a 55% discount.

The Steam community has classified The Procession to Calvary into these genres:

Dark Comedy Funny Medieval Point & Click Surreal Indie Female Protagonist Story Rich Puzzle Comedy Singleplayer 2D Philosophical Historical Short Violent Gore Adventure Beautiful Action

Media & Screenshots

Get an in-depth look at The Procession to Calvary through various videos and screenshots.

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Requirements

These are the minimum specifications needed to play the game. For the best experience, we recommend that you verify them.

Windows

Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
OS *: Windows XP
Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
Memory: 2 GB RAM
DirectX: Version 10
Storage: 1 GB available space

MacOS

OS: Mac OSX 10.7
Processor: 2 GHz CPU
Memory: 2 GB RAM
Storage: 1 GB available space

Linux

OS: Ubuntu 14.04 / SteamOS
Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
Memory: 2 GB RAM
Storage: 1 GB available space

Reviews

Explore reviews from Steam users sharing their experiences and what they love about the game.

Nov. 2024

The Middle Ages- what a crazy time to be alive! It's after the Holy Wars and you play as a representation of Rembrandt's Bellona who just wants to do some murder and Heavenly Peter is in your crosshairs. Wildly irreverent, self-aware, and deeply sacrilege, The Procession to Calvary is the second title from Joe Richardson in his bizarre triptych. I love that it's called a triptych. I finally got through this in preparation for Death of the Reprobate. I've already played through Four Last Things and honestly don't remember it too much except for the similar design style and humor but I feel like The Procession to Calvary was a bit more straightforward and less obtuse in the puzzle department. I finished this in a little under 4 hours and only had to look up two things towards the end and I am typically a pretty impatient person when it comes to point-n-click games because I frequently find at some point I can't follow the dev's logic. But this was a little easier and it seems like some knowledge of the paintings and historical context will help intuitively guide you to the next steps. Like Girl with a Pearl Earring by Vermeer The foley and BGM are very appropriate and add to a weird sense of cozy hilarity. Overall, The Procession to Cavalry reads "Monty Python" in the sense that it's constructed of those familiar crudely animated art history textbook collage but the humor is distinctly North American. I did totally laugh out loud at places and mostly had a wicked grin running across my face the rest of the time. But the humor is NOT for everyone: If you are sensitive at all about Christianity/Christ in particular you probably want to skip this. It's not all silly fart, burp, and crucifix jokes, though. There is throughout and at the end some flippantly profound commentary around religious hypocrisy, class hierarchy, and social responsibility. I enjoyed this one and am looking forward to Death of the Reprobate.

Nov. 2024

Dude didn't know what to do with his master's degree in art history and his unparalleled talent for making memes from the past decade... And then he decided to make a video game. It's a gem with such a silly and charming concept and execution that it's much more fun than it has any right to be. This right here is a work of art (or several) masterfully packaged in the format of one of the most potentially frustrating genres I know. How many great stories have been lost in the intricacies of puzzles with alien logic or pixel hunts? But among the many games I've regrettably played of this type, The Procession to Calvary has the distinct quality of being one of the few that I actually enjoyed my time with and would like to play again rather than watch. It's a short, consistently hilarious adventure with no interruptions that add nothing to the experience. The simple puzzles, even though they are insane, make more sense and are easier to decipher than 90% of the great classics of the genre. This is the kind of game that whenever you encounter a "problem", a big smile spreads across your face. The thing was simply put together and executed quite confidently. For obvious reasons, it's also an extremely beautiful game, full of great music. I'm surprised this hasn't been done sooner... And that it's legally viable. It's recommended.

July 2024

This game deserves far more attention, it's such a unique and creative point and click game. The artstyle is beautiful, and unlike everything else I've seen. Every frame of this game is like its own beautifully crafted renaissance painting. The game is fairly short, but it's humour is on point, the puzzles are great, and the NPCs have some hilarious dialogue. Definitely check out the other games from this developer as well.

June 2024

What a fuckin' ride. Incredible paintings degraded to crude Python-esque animations, never-ending gags (seriously, this is a very funny game), and it has Scarlatti in the soundtrack. SCARLATTI!!! The word "masterpiece" has never felt more appropriate when describing a game, but it seems the developer has already beat me to it. 10/10

May 2024

An un-serious adventure game with a unique and hilarious setting where the humour is often time more important than the challenge of the puzzles. Some of these puzzles are quite flawed, but it's glossed over well by the humour. Highly recommend if people want a short yet enjoyable experience! Rating:

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Last Updates

Steam data	22 November 2024 22:12
SteamSpy data	18 December 2024 18:17
Steam price	23 December 2024 20:27
Steam reviews	22 December 2024 00:08

-55% 9.49€ 4.27€

9.2

1,003

Online players

Developer

Joe Richardson

Publisher

Joe Richardson, SUPERHOT PRESENTS

Release 09 Apr 2020

Platforms