Behold the Kickmen

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as "The Wonderful Game". Start at the bottom of the Big Boring Football Spreadsheet and grind your way up to become the best at the football anyone's ever seen.

Behold the Kickmen is a action, sports and indie game developed and published by Size Five Games.
Released on July 20th 2017 is available in English on Windows and MacOS.

It has received 509 reviews of which 395 were positive and 114 were negative resulting in a rating of 7.3 out of 10. 😊

The game is currently priced at 3.99€ on Steam.

The Steam community has classified Behold the Kickmen into these genres:

Action Sports Indie Casual Football (Soccer)

Media & Screenshots

Get an in-depth look at Behold the Kickmen through various videos and screenshots.

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Requirements

These are the minimum specifications needed to play the game. For the best experience, we recommend that you verify them.

Windows

OS *: Windows 7 and up
Processor: 2.4Ghz
Memory: 4 GB RAM
Graphics: GeForce 8800 equivalent or higher
DirectX: Version 9.0c
Storage: 1 GB available space
Sound Card: Yes
Additional Notes: If playing on a Laptop, please make sure it has a dedicated gfx card; on-board cards will struggle.

MacOS

OS: 10.12
Memory: 4 GB RAM
Storage: 1 GB available space
Additional Notes: discreet GPU recommended

Reviews

Explore reviews from Steam users sharing their experiences and what they love about the game.

Dec. 2024

I came. I saw. I kicked the men. Indeed, the plot and justice demands you kick, as hard as you can... It's a fun little time waster, but really pay attention to the description and tutorial; it's not really football, and trying to play it as such may explain some of the reviewers who found it too hard. Instead, treat it as the silly take on the national sport it is, and focus on showing off and earning money from fans who want to be entertained, which you cash in via Doing A Goal. Don't take the occasional CPU insanity seriously either; the Goldkeepers who protect the bank are deliberately rubbish, and so once you get the sense of how to Do The Goal, you'll find you almost never lose; the 2 times I've played it from scratch on default difficulty, years apart and so I had to learn anew, I only ever lost one match each time, and beat the entire Big Boring Football Spreadsheet in 3 hours. Which is an ideal length as it lets you see the entire narrative without it overstaying it's welcome, and a most amusing narrative it is. As long as you aren't too puritanical about waving your football rattle about!

July 2024

Better than FIFA/Football Club

Data sources

The information presented on this page is sourced from reliable APIs to ensure accuracy and relevance. We utilize the Steam API to gather data on game details, including titles, descriptions, prices, and user reviews. This allows us to provide you with the most up-to-date information directly from the Steam platform.

Additionally, we incorporate data from the SteamSpy API, which offers insights into game sales and player statistics. This helps us present a comprehensive view of each game's popularity and performance within the gaming community.

Last Updates

Steam data	18 November 2024 23:07
SteamSpy data	20 January 2025 13:37
Steam price	22 January 2025 20:44
Steam reviews	22 January 2025 22:06

3.99€

7.3

395

114

Online players

Developer

Size Five Games

Publisher

Size Five Games

Release 20 Jul 2017

Platforms